Senseless voice mail greetings and “Please Advise” retards

All to often I call another business professional and hear the same voice mail message,

“Hi, you have reached Mr. Smith. I am unable to pick up the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message and I will get back to you at MY EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. Thank you.”

First of all it’s a generic message, which is OK and standard. However, what’s up with the “MY EARLIEST CONVENIENCE”? Unless your a rock star and people worship you, shouldn’t you just say that you will get back to them “AS SOON AS POSSIBLE” ? This is one of those things that get tossed around in the corporate world and become a standard, even though it’s senseless. The same goes for the word “advise”. Have you ever received an email from someone with a problem and at the end they say “Please advise”? Another senseless statement. Google it, it’s annoying to everyone! This guy even made a SHIRT for it.


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